#like no promises we're seeing where it goes but I'm so psyched

[psychewritesbs]

Maybe I'll regret sending you this ask but it's like a thorn in my side and I need to get it out because I can't stop thinking about this so here I go 🙇‍♀️

If I don't see the romantic subtext in Gojo and Geto's dynamic, does that mean I'm not really understanding what Gege is telling? I like their dynamic, they're complex characters and so is their dynamic, but not because there is romance there. Of course, if I read and look to see romance there I find it... but I'm looking to interpret it that way. So when I see "the subtext is there", "the dynamic is ambiguous", I start to question my interpretation... I don't know if it's because my reading comprehension has already been attacked when I said their relationship isn't canon. I really tried to see that ambiguity since I started reading the manga but in the end I felt like I was reading too much... that I was actively searching for something that was supposed to be in plain sight.

P.S: I have seen ships with ambiguous dynamics in SNK, HQ, Naruto (NARUSASU, I don't even ship them but I understand 😅) and I never saw this war between shippers and non-shippers...

Nooooo anon 😭. Please, I promise I don't bite too hard.

So, first of all, thanks for sending this. I'm ngl, it makes me sad to think that I might have contributed to someone feeling like I would make you regret asking about something you don't see.

Second, I'm going to make this answer about perception because the purpose of my blog is psych.

Third, as a lead up to the psych stuff, it goes without saying that one of the reasons I don't talk about shipping in jjk is precisely because shipping is highly personal, and a lot of people in this fandom take their interpretations about the story as absolute truths, to the point that they gaslight anyone who doesn't agree with them.

It's like we're all just deploying domain expansions and the one person with the strongest sense of self wins. Right?

But this is a HUGE irony because Gege has gone on record in an interview saying that one of the themes at the core of jjk is that there is no such thing as an ultimate truth where someone is right and someone is wrong.

(source)

And to me this gets at a much larger issue that I taco'bout under the cut.

So this is the thing, right?

If you don't see the subtext in stsg, there are a lot of factors affecting your perception. Gender, sexuality, background, etc etc...

The thing to keep in mind is that you don't see the world as it is...

So I love that second angry anon brought up the idea that someone who is straight would very likely see gjhm as a romantic pairing, because it's true!

This is really complicated because, yes, heteronormativity is at play here, AND that doesn't mean a straight person is being homophobic for not seeing the stsg subtext without putting on pink-colored fujo glasses.

That said, I have seen the jjk dudebros be total dicks because they think that, because they are straight and the target demographic, the only way the story should be perceived is as if most all characters are straight and you are delusional to think otherwise.

And I'll be honest here, I'm a bi/pan woman. I am also a fujoshi. I've read quite a bit of bl/yaoi, and I think that has influenced why I don't see the romantic subtext without looking for it.

Basically, I've read really long threads by stsg fans that were meant to provide evidence for why they are canon that I was just like "this is all a subjective perception" and that is not to say they are wrong.

More like, YES. I couldn't agree more with you. It's there if you look for it. I am not sure if you saw this, but someone else came through sharing the same sentiment as you.

For me, little details like the battle taking place on December 24th, and Gege recommending bl before, point at a certain ambiguity that Gege might want to create without confirming anything.

It's funny that baity anon said stuff like "Gege is throwing irrelevant breadcrumbs at these shippers" when the same could be said about stsg according to many, many, MANY people.

Who is right? Who is wrong? If a group of people can see it and another can't, who owns the ultimate truth?

If Gege doesn't explicitly say "stsg is the other dynamic that is canonical along with mechamiwa", then who gets to have the authority on how to interpret the story? And who gave them that authority? And why are they ignoring subtext that doesn't suit their agenda?

I'm asking both sides for the sake of being a devil's advocate btw lol.

The thing is, it's all subjective, and there is no such thing as an ultimate truth where someone is right and someone is wrong--what there is is people arriving at conclusions based on their own logic according to who they are.

In the end, we're all looking at jjk through our own subjective lens, which is inevitably made up of many different factors.

That ramble aside, I hate that your reading comprehension was attacked because you can't see what someone else can see. That's just lame af because it tells me this is someone arrogant enough to take their opinion as absolute truth, and insecure enough to make someone else feel bad for questioning their interpretation.

As someone who has been internet-mean and who has wrongfully thought she owned the truth about something in the past, I apologize that someone has made you feel this way.

The reason this is a bigger issue than just shipping is because this issue is prevalent across fandom.

jjk dudebros will have you believe that if someone reads jjk for anything that is not battles is wrong.

Others will gaslight people and call them dumb for being open about how they don't understand how Gege explains certain things.

By the way, Maki is better than Toji according to some, but not to others.

I'm telling you, for jjk being a story about how there is no absolute truth, we sure are attached to our interpretations as being the ultimate truth.

All I know is that I don't want to be part of the problem and that starts with me making space for understanding why someone would disagree with me or think differently than I do.

Here's the last thing I'll say, anon.

If you don't see the stsg subtext as romantic, then you are indeed missing out on a romantic interpretation. If that's not something you're interested in... that's no one's "problem" but yours.

As long as you aren't seeking to minimize someone else's perception, then it's your interpretation and yours alone.

For me, I see this:

And I fucking love this spread because I see deep and intense longing. I get the sense Gojo is looking really hard for any semblance of Geto in this body.

Do you see something romantic? Yes? No?

It doesn't really change anything, does it? It just means someone reads into something you don't see.

The fact that you are questioning whether you are "really understanding" the text "right" tells me you have the humility to look to adjust your perception and be open to other ideas.

There's a difference between saying "I don't see it" and "I don't see it and neither should you because I don't see it, and if you do, you are delusional!"

Which one are you?

Which one will you be moving forward?

Thanks for coming to my TED talk looool.

I went on a raaaaant bahaha.

I just... man... this is the kind of problem that shipping in this fandom creates. As you said... imagine just wanting to mind your own business and someone who ships a certain pairing comes and tells you you are an idiot for not reading the same way as they do. OR viceversa, you're shipping along, minding your own business and someone tells you you are delusional for enjoying a ship.

Come on....

It really is a matter of perception and we're quite literally spamming domain expansions on each other as a way to impose our personal truth on others as absolute. It's really ironic and funny ngl.

This reminds me...

Idk if you've seen any Gundam shows, but at least the ones I've seen, usually the plot revolves around how war and conflict is the result of two sides of the same coin being unwilling to accept a different point of view.

So anyways. As I said in that baity ask... I'm at a point in my life where I'd rather focus on holding the tension of opposites. It's just where I'm at.

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts anon!

Don't let others define your perception! If you do, you've already turned your back on the only person whose perception matters most--you.

[angelgendered]

i'm in love and it's made me so inexplicably happy that they love me too, i can't over estimate that tbh! (like my love life has been tumultuous at best for years and being able to settle in with someone is so lovely. that regularity of contact daily, soft conversations, finding out little things about them as time goes on, feeling whole and complete and HAPPY!!) I genuinely think that along with it just being Hadley znd the fact that i adore them, the fact that we're both some variety of queer is healing, too. I don't have a trans joy tat for nothing, and being with someone who accepts you and your body and your bad days and good? Someone who accepts your transition journey for what it is, and affirms your gender and presentation at every damn turn? It's amazing.

i'm becoming more independent again after a major disabling event/illness/syndrome/whatever you wanna call it too, with the help of my wheelchair and mobility aids! (and it's so nice that my love is accepting of my need for help too. their only request? that when i'm using my chair, we can still hold hands. i mean. how lucky am i!!!)

i'm sorting out my mental health too! it's so much better than it was two years ago when i was dx'd bpd/eupd (tho my gp thinks i'm autistic and it could be a misdiagnosis as psych tablets don't help me much if at all even tho I'm on lots of them for dual nerve pai a nd psych reasons) and that's down to letting myself have a better life! i'm daring to hope things for the future where before i didn't see any future for myself two years ago. i thought i wouldn't make it to 33 and yet here i am, a month away from that and so happy i could burst

i still have bad days and low days but they're so much fewer than they once were. at one point it was all day every day and i felt overwhelmed and sad and paranoid and it's all melting away now. v slowly, but it is. i feel like my old self again, pre-angelique which was years ago but had such a heavy effect on my relationships that i couldn't hold anything serious down, and pre-cauda equina too. i will never physically be the same as before ces, but i'm beginning to think i can be who i was when i was like 21 or 19 and genuinely happy with my life.

i will likely never hold down a job. that's just something i have to accept. but. despite that one thing i can't change at all, i'm so happy lately!! i'm accepting my limitations and pushing where i feel able to. hadley has made me so happy, just by being there, and being them, and loving me in return. i feel so desired and loved and wanted despite never having really been the kind of person who believes that about themselves before now, (especially not where my physical body is concerned bc of dysphoria and dysmorphia but! hadley loves me for me and god, isn't that refreshing!!) my improving mobility and mood can't be understated too, while I'll probably always need a powered wheelchair cos I just can't walk long distances, getting around indoors is easier at least. I'm actually doing my physio since my ces too which is def helping.

Idk. All this to say that I'm so damn happy with my life and I never thought that I'd feel this way again. More than I did before, even, in fact. Things do get better. You will find a person, or people, who love you for you. Whether that's romantic, platonic, or you're someone who doesn't distinguish between the two. You'll find love of some kind. And it'll heal you. Along with gently pushing yourself to get better tbh. If I wasn't pushing to get better even before hadley told me that they love me, I don't think I'd have been in the heads pace to accept that and love them as wholly as I do. It's hard to love someone and accept their love when you feel broken, so its good that I was on the mend while we were becoming closer, too!

It's corny. But it does get better. I promise. From someone who thought they wouldn't be alive now. Trust me.

[xxkellsvixen19xx]

Spotlight: A Life Of A Troubled Celebrity Heartthrob Ch 8

Word Count: 3,940

"Y/N, I need you in your dressing room now," Michelle grabbed mt arm as soon as we stepped out of the limo, "we don't have much time." She hurried them along, security surrounding them at every turn.

"I'll see you in a bit sweets," Colson called out and blew her a kiss as they separated.

Y/N blew one back and he caught it, causing her to blush furiously.

"I see your husband has beefed up your shadows," Michelle said wryly.

"Yeah, yeah he has. I don't have a say in the matter unfortunately," Y/N shrugged.

"Can't blame him though. You and Colson have been the entertainment headline news ever since he announced your wedding on social media," Michelle opened the door of the dressing room and Y/N followed behind.

"Please remove your clothes and wear this gown," Michelle handed her a short black silk gown

"Really? We've been on the news?" Y/N furrowed her brows, wanting to continue the previous conversation.

"Sweetheart, which planet have you been living on? Anything to do with Colson Baker is news. Sit," Michelle commanded as she pulled out a chair.

"I kinda went of the grid after..you know?"

"I know," Michelle gave her a knowing look and laughed, "I can tell by the marks he left on your body sweetie."

"Oh," Y/N covered her face, embarrassed.

"No need to be ashamed," Michelle laughed, "if I wasn't already married to Byron I would gladly stand in line to jump Colson's bones," she joked, "so does he live up to his rep or nah?" she pried.

"What?" Y/N blushed again.

"Sorry. I don't mean to pry," she pursed her lips.

"No, no. It's okay. I'd like to think we're friends?" Y/N asked.

"Of course! I should be hurt that you'd even-" she held the make-up brush mid-air.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Y/N squeezed Michelle's hand, "but he was more than I ever thought or imagined!" she gushed.

"I knew it!" They giggled like a pair of giddy school girls. They were interrupted when someone knocked at the door.

"Michelle," Colson cleared his throat as he stood at the door, "can you excuse us for a minute?"

"Make it quick and don't even think of spoiling her hair and make-up," Michelle glared at him before leaving the room.

"Well.. you heard the lady Bambi.." Colson locked the door and discarded his t-shirt at the door. He flexed his muscles like he had just entered a boxing ring.

"Colson..noo," Y/N held out her hands in a futile attempt to stop him from getting to her.

"I prefer it when you scream out yes.." he lifted her off the chair and switched places with her. She straddled him as he trailed hot kisses on her neck, causing her to lose herself in him.

"Michelle.."

"Can wait.." he claimed her mouth possessively and all resistance crumbled..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good Evening Brussels!! How's everyone doing toniiight???!" Colson bounced onto the stage like he owned the world and everything in it.

The crowd went ballistic and he reveled in their screams and shouts. "Colson! Colson! Colson!"

He smiled and made a turn round the stage, psyching himself up for his performance. He ran from one end of the stage to the other touching and high-fiving as many fans as possible. Some fangirls passed out as soon as he made contact with them and guys ran around in circles. The crowd was in a frenzy and Colson hadn't even started performing yet!

"COLSON BAKER WE LOVE YOU!" the fans chanted over and over again.

"I LOVE YOU ALL! I LOVE YOU BRUSSELS!" Colson shouted over the screams and shouts as he sprinted from one end to the other one last time. More screams, crying and fainting ensued. The paramedics would be busy tonight.

"Tonight we have a very special guest on the ones and twos-please give it up for my one and only doe-eyed beauty-my wife Y/N Baker!!" Colson swept his hand towards Y/N as she stood behind the sound engineers desk. She waved shyly and slipped on her headphones. She was going to be taking Slim's place as sound engineer and DJ for the night. Michelle had dressed her up in a short Saint Laurent sequin embellished cocktail dress, epitomizing the band's statement sex appeal. She looked daring and fearless and it was a head-turning number, She completed the look with studded leather boots and her hair was a 80s messy look .

"You're looking hooot baby!" He winked at her and walked back to the edge of the stage. "I just want to give a shout out to my wife for taking care of me when I was sick. I don't know many people that would wipe puke off my face -for free-but you did it babe. I'm so grateful for you. This first song is for you sweets," he winked at her and positioned himself on a high-stool, "The song is called "Hangover Cure ," Colson strummed his guitar and his angelic voice resounded all over the stadium.

The audience was undoubtedly entranced and mesmerized by Colson. He had a commanding stage presence that sucked everyone in and all they could do was be fixated on him and him alone. Girls in the crowd were openly crying like he was singing the song to them and when he hit his signature high notes they were in a state of delirium. Banners and placards went up everywhere with words expressing how much his fans loved him. And he was truly loved by all of them.

Colson continued the next several songs on a mellow vibe and the crowd was falling more and more in love with this side of him. At one point he removed his baseball jacket and gave it to an adoring fan; who ran around the stage like a headless chicken. Of course the paramedics had to be called in to remove her from the stage after she had passed out.

"So tonight we're going to switch things up a bit," Colson carefully laid his guitar down and stood up again, "I'm going to get a few fans from the crowd to come up here and we're going to sing some of your favorite songs together. Can we do that?" The fans roared in agreement.

"I hope you all still have your ticket stubs cos' I'm just going to randomly call out a ticket number and if it belongs to you then you get to do a duet with me. That okay?" Colson grinned and the fans went wild.

"For the purpose of time and logistics, I'll call them out all at once and I hope you can make it to the front..if not then we will have to pick out someone else okay? Ready? Here goes..Drum roll please!" Colson said dramatically.

"Ticket number 2005, 5721; uhh-3688; 1012, 4562 and last one-6000? Please make your way to the front and produce your ticket to protocol otherwise..you all know the drill," Colson drank some water and a crew member rushed forward to wipe down his body. He wasn't feeling well but he pushed himself, he had to. "Music please," he called out to his band before hurrying over to Y/N.

"Sweets, I don't feel one hundred. Can we please go backstage for a few minutes?" he whispered in her ear and she nodded.

"Bathroom-" he ran to the restroom, clutching his stomach and Y/N asked security to wait outside while she checked on him.

"Are you okay babe?" she tapped on the door lightly.

"Yeah..noo-" he grunted before she heard him spilling his guts into the lavatory again.

"I'm coming in," Y/N announced, his meds and a bottle of water in her hand. She found him seated on the floor, with his back against the wall. His face was pale and his forehead had beads of sweat. Y/N handed the pills and water to him; then started to wipe him down with his face towel.

"Sorry," Colson held her against him.

"It's okay," Y/N gave him a weak smile, "I need to rinse out your towel, I'll be right back okay?"

"Hey! Are you guys okay?" Jax called out from outside, "Can I come in?"

"Come inside Jax," Y/N swung the door open and walked back to Colson, Jax close on her heels.

"Hey, are you okay kid?" Jax crouched next to Colson's slouched frame.

"Yeah, please get Byron to get a supporting act to cover for me for a while. I'll go and lie down in my dressing room for a bit. Help me up?" Jax pulled him off the floor effortlessly.

"I've already told Byron to take care of it. You sure you want to continue?" Jax asked skeptically.

"I will have to manage somehow..can't let the fans down. Beside I just have fan-dues and then I'll be done," Colson said as he put his arm around Y/N for support.

"If you're sure.." Y/N looked at him with concern.

"I'll be okay sweets; stop stressing," Colson leaned forward and kissed her temple.

"Fine," Y/N muttered.

"Okay, I'll leave you two to rest then. Will half-an-hour be enough?" Jax asked as they stopped in front of the dressing room?

"Yeah," Colson nodded.

"Okay, I'll be here to escort you back on stage," Jax replied.

Y/N opened the door for him and helped him lie down on the soft couch.

"Stay with me?" He pleaded. Y/N lay down next to him and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Your body is so hot," Y/N said in alarm.

"Ooh, tell me more baby.." he drawled and buried his nose in her neck.

"Colson, I'm serious..you're burning up," she turned to face him.

"Shh..stop worrying," he kissed her forehead, "I've taken my medication so I'll be fine in a minute. Go to sleep baby."

"You go to sleep Baker," she replied, "I'll be right here," she said softly.

"Thank you baby," he said before he drifted off to sleep.

*********************************************

"Are we really going to the after party?" Y/N frowned at her husband.

"Yes WE are!" Colson laced his hands with hers. They were standing in the foyer at the hotel where the after party was already in full swing.

"But you're not well?" she raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow, courtesy of Michelle.

"We won't stay for long. Promise," he kissed her chastely, "I have to make an appearance you know that right? Plus I really need to get you home so I can finish off what we started in the dressing room.." he nuzzled her neck

"Hmm..and no drinking tonight? Agreed," she looked at him with her pretty E/C eyes.

"Sweets, come on!" he whined, "can we just go and have fun please? I could really use it," he massaged his temple with one hand.

"Why are you avoiding my question?? I'm watching you Baker," she eyed him suspiciously.

"I don't mind baby," he hugged her and gave her a long kiss.

"That's blackmail," she said, breathless.

"Is it working?" His breath danced on her lips.

"Let's go," she pushed him away playfully, "I really need to get this over and done with so I can go home and rest. I'm overdue on sleep."

"Sorry, that's my fault, I know," he said sheepishly.

"Just remember that when partying the night away and I have to drag you home," she muttered under her breath.

"I heard that Mrs Baker," he laughed softly as he hugged her waist.

"Good," she replied.

"What's he doing here?" Colson froze and Y/N followed his gaze. It landed on Slim. Jax and Byron were arguing with him in a corner.

"Let Jax handle it okay?" Y/N put her hands against his chest and pushed him back gently, "Let it go. Please?"

"Fine," he said through gritted teeth and walked away.

"Hey Colson! Hi Colson! Great show Colson!" was all Y/N heard as Colson held her hand all night.

"I need the bathroom," Y/N whispered in Colson's ear.

"Let me come with you," he stood up with her.

"No. Stay with your friends," she said with a wave of her hand, "I just spotted Ash so I'll go with her," Y/N pointed over to where Ashleigh was standing.

"You're sure? Slim is lurking about so I'm a bit uneasy," he confessed.

"I'll be fine okay"" she kissed the side of his mouth and he smiled.

"If you're going to kiss me then you should make it count Bambi," he crushed his lips against hers and kissed her breathless.

"Hurry back before I start missing you," he said as a parting shot.

"Hey there stranger!" Ashleigh practically jumped on her.

"Hey! Careful," Y/N giggled.

"How have you been? How are you handling having your face and relationship splashed all over the tabloids?" Ashleigh asked.

"Colson prefers it if I don't see that," Y/N replied, "probably doesn't want me to get worked up I guess,"

"So you've already become the little submissive wife have you? You consummated the marriage yet?" she smiled and nudged Y/N with her elbow.

"Something like that.." She laughed.

"I want all the deets but let's go and get something to drink first," Ashleigh pulled her over to the bar.

"I really didn't want to drink today Ash.." Y/N said hesitantly.

"Just have one with me?? We haven't hung out for a while..please?" Ashleigh coaxed.

"Okay fine," Y/N sighed in defeat, "just one," she held up her index finger for emphasis. They went to the bar and Ashleigh ordered two cosmos.

"Can we go to the bathroom?" Y/N shifted around in agitation, "otherwise I will pee on myself," Ashleigh laughed as she handed Y/N her drink.

"Let's just go up and use the one in my room?" Ashleigh suggested and Y/N nodded, "I-uh-need to get my phone. Need to take pics you know. It's our last week on tour," she said as the stepped into the elevator.

"Sommer!" they cried out in shock. Sommer was curled up in a ball, whimpering in the corner of the elevator. Her face was badly bruised, her nose was bleeding and she was a mess. Usually she was well dressed, without a hair out of place but tonight she looked like a junkie.

"Who did this to you?" Y/N demanded as she crouched next to Sommer.

"Just leave me alone okay!?!" Sommer snapped, "you and your perfect little life! Just leave me alone! Go away!" she yelled.

"I want to help you!" Y/N said, forlorn, "please allow me to help you?"

"Let's take her to her room, Maybe she needs to clean up a bit and sleep it off," Ashleigh looked around, nervous.

"If you're sure..?" Y/N said hesitantly.

"Look, why don't you go use the bathroom in my room and I will take care of Sommer? I'm sure Slim must already be looking for her of something," Ashleigh babbled.

"No! No Slim!" Sommer backed away in fear, "don't call him. Please?" she grabbed my arm.

"Okay, I won't," Y/N assured her. Something strange was going on here but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Come on Sommer let's get you cleaned up. You'll need a change of clothes as well," Y/N steered her in towards her hotel room.

"Let me do it!" Ashleigh said too quickly, "well..since you needed the bathroom so badly-I can help Sommer. You go ahead-I got this," she said with a tight smile.

"Okay.." Ashleigh was acting very strange today, maybe she was high on something, Y/N thought. Y/N looked walked into Ashleigh's hotel room and got a sense of foreboding but she just shrugged it off. She went into the bathroom and relieved herself and as he was washing her hands she heard hotel room door open.

She thought it was Ashleigh so she hurried out of the bathroom to find Slim standing at the doorway with a smug expression on his face.

"Hello Bambi..so glad you could make it," he slammed the door shut and locked it.

********************************************

Y/N stared at Slim as he stood at the door, lazily leaning against it. He looked at her the was a lion on Animal Planet would eye it's prey before it moved in for the kill.. This was like déjà vu to Y/N but this time she wasn't going down without a fight. She had to think quickly before he had his way with her and by the way he was undressing her with his eyes, he was going to pounce on her any minute from now. Her short cocktail dress would make it so much easy for him.

"I've waited for this day for a very long time and I'm going to savor every inch of that delectable body.." he licked his lips and continued to trail his eyes down her body.

She was saved by a loud pounding on the door that startled both her and Slim.

"Slim!" Sommer called out from behind the door, "I know what you and Ashleigh planned-don't do it! Please! I'm begging you!" she said her voice breaking.

Y/N took this opportunity and dashed back into the bathroom and locked the door. If Sommer kept up the racket long enough then help would arrive soon. Slim snarled and he pounded on the door; Y/N searched around frantically for an opening but found none.

"You can try and run from me but you're only prolonging the inevitable," he taunted as he tried to beat the door down, "I'm going to have you and you're going to enjoy it my precious."

Y/N was wringing her hands, trying to figure a way out when her eyes fell on her Apple Watch that Colson had got her just last week. She quickly scrolled to the phone app and dialed Colson's number and he answered on the second ring.

"Hey I've been looking all over-"

"Help me please! I'm stuck in the bathroom in Ashleigh's room and Slim is outside-he tried to-he wants to-" Y/N's voice broke-.

" I'll be on my way. Hang tight okay?" Colson rang off.

The room was silent and she couldn't hear Slim moving around so she began to panic. What was he up to? Suddenly the bathroom door swung open and Slim stood with a self-satisfied smirk.

"I know how to pick locks my precious," he held a paper clip between his fingers. He threw the pin on the floor and locked the bathroom door again from the inside. Y/N tried to back away but the room was constricted. She started to hyperventilate and pressed redial on her phone, wishing and hoping that Colson would get here quicker.

"Told you..you can run but.." he trailed his finger along her cheekbone and she spat in his face.

"You're going to regret that," Slim  gave her a dagger and pushed her against the tiled wall, "I'm sorry this is going to be quick and rough..I would have liked to take it slow but time is not on our side," he grabbed her roughly, lifted her up and placed her on top of the sink. Y/N began to scratch at his face and to kick and scream, but he grabbed her hands and tied them with his bandana.

"You're making this so hard for yourself precious..if you would just give in then we would enjoy the ride together but-I guess you like it rough," he tried to yank her dress further up her thighs but it was too tight and it was proving to be difficult. He pulled her off the sink and pushed her against the wall, "turn around," he said roughly. She faced the wall and started to cry.

"Save your tears for Colson. They're not going to work on me," he unbuckled his belt and she heard his pants fall to the floor.

"I'm not going to run like Scott. I'll just plead insanity due to drug addiction and they will let me go. I'm going to stick around so I can keep coming back for seconds," he pushed her face against the wall and whispered into her ear, "that's if you're good enough..hope I won't be disappointed Precious," he stuck his tongue in her ear and she cried out.

"Please don't!" she whimpered, her tears cascaded down her cheeks.

Suddenly, someone came crashing through the door and hurtled towards them. Slim had no time to register what was happening but a pair of hands grabbed his neck, threw him on the floor and started to strangle him. Y/N sank onto the floor and broke down. Sommer ran over to her and hugged her.

"I'm so sorry Y/N-I didn't know-" Sommer cried along with Y/N, "he and Ashleigh had planned it. I had nothing to do with it-I swear! Please believe me!"

"Colson!" Jax shouted, "You're going to kill him-let go!"

"Death is too good for this scum!" Colson screamed as Jax and the other body guards dragged him off Slim. His eyes fell on Y/N and he dashed over to her. She had passed out probably due to shock or relief or maybe both.

Slim took advantage of the distraction and made his escape, spluttering and fighting for breath. Jax eyed him warily and decided to let him go. He knew he would be back.

"It's okay sweets. I'm here now. You're safe. I got you baby." he lifted her limp form in his arms and carried her out of the room.

"Do you want me to go after him?" Jax walked beside them.

"No. I'll get him. One way or another, I'll get him," Colson narrowed his eyes, "I want you to get that spawn of Judas-Ashleigh. I want her to look me in the eye and explain why she did what she did to my wife," the elevator doors slid open and Jax held them back to allow Colson to step inside.

"She's already in a car and is on her way to the house," Jax reported, "I have a few things to say to her as well. I hope we're pressing charges? We can't let them walk-Y/N deserves justice," he said vehemently as he opened the car door.

"Oh we're going to make them pay..then we're going to hand them over to the police," Colson laid Y/N inside and jumped in beside her.

Colson clenched and unclenched his fist as he looked out the window. Ashleigh had messed with the wrong person. He was going to deal with her personally. Her career was officially over before it even began.

"Jax, can we make a quick stop at a hospital? I need to make sure she's okay," Colson caressed Y/N's face as she lay on his lap, "plus we need to gather evidence."

"Sure thing Boss," Jax nodded.

Colson hoped and prayed that he had got there on time but Slim's pants were down and Y/N's dress was-he shook his head and blinked his eyes rapidly. He couldn't-didn't want to even think about it. His heart bled a thousand times when he thought about what he saw when they crashed through the door. He shouldn't have allowed her to go with that snake-he should have listened to his gut; trusted his instinct.

Now Y/N was a wreck and it would take a while to piece her back together again.

[beann-e]

um wow , idk what to say i’m a bit flustered but i hope i say it right. I was only gone for a couple of days and this is what I come back to. 😮 Tysm guys I love you all thank you for taking the time out of your scrolls to even follow me >:’) So, I decided to follow through on my haikyu x police force idea and here it is a sneak peek! I hope you enjoy !

May 1 , 2021

-recording take one

" I am under oath to tell you that everything being said here today will be used to further the investigation against yourself. That being said If you choose to answer a question or provide a statement I will have no choice but to write it down to be processed and turned into someone of higher authority than me is that clear "

" i'd say that's a bit — well stupid to me saying yes when your the highest fish on the food chain no? "

" what else can I say except lucky you that everything you say won't be passed around and relayed much less having your words twisted by those listening "

" cute "

" i'd say same goes to you if you weren't chained up in front of me right now — I might've just asked you out on a date "

" i'm free friday at 10 — though it's in the morning so I pose the question— Would you like to sneak me from my court case baby I promise i’ll make it up to you "

" mm i'll think about it seeing as though i'm the one escorting you to your new cell anyways we might just have to have a uh a talk inside hmm"

" what no balls ? "

" sadly none —or at least physically seeing as though i'm a woman "

" I never would've guessed if it wasn't for the way that suit hugs your curves — your pretty full out huh you must be fun "

" i've gotten that before though people tend to say i’m a bit more fun elsewhere "

" aw you wound me you didn’t tell me I had competition babe “

" of course not your first in line in my eyes, it sucks that the ring on my finger says differently though "

" isn't that sweet I might just have to take you up on your offer "

" oh? didn't think you'd be so excited ,much less interested on being the first one on my list to be put in jail but, I guess i'll try my best to speed your trial up for you if that's what you want "

The rooms silence was heavy as the camera panned the room. Your fingers silently being clawed into the table as it drained all your anger from you.

Your shoe tapping against the floor with a slight grimace appearing on your face when you heard the buttons on the camera in front of you being pressed.

" what no slick comment ? " A heartfelt laugh moved to fill the once silent room as you watched small hands wrap around the camera and fix it to where it showed nothing but your upset face—fingertips slamming down one by one on the table

" don't you have a fucking job to do glasses "

" aw what happened no more flirty y/n ? "

"your an asshole— I don’t know why I expected much in the first place seeing as though you were trained under him "

" such a foul mouth — you do know this is going on your transcripts right ? " the eyes in front of you narrowing on you the voice only coming out in mock care for your situation " you wouldn't want the jury — much less the judge reading this when their deciding your sentence right ? "

Your fingers glided over the table and into a fist in front of you as your head went to look down at the table

" you've grown submissive so fast "

" I find it hard to believe you don't like that kind of thing fucking pervert "

" aw you wound me — but if I had to supply you with an answer to your question— I can imagine your dying to know since you've been flirting with a married woman this whole time "

" married? "

" I know your observant y/n you have to be " the next words making you breathe heavily " I mean the way you noticed your s/o was cheating before they could even notice themselves is just wow"

The click of the door being heard as a deep voice made its way in the room " Kiyoko your not allowed in here "

" I have just as much right to be in here as anyone else — "

" but I could’ve sworn I just said you don't — so again why the hell are you in here ? "

The room turning cold with the woman in front of you straightening herself up not wanting to go back and forth with the male in front of her but, at the same time not wanting to come across as small, being seen as a woman down here was hard much less having your own husband be relatively close to the one in charge " I came down here to test out inmate 4890 psyche"

" did anyone give you that kind of permission? that kind of clearance ? to even get down here in the first place ? "

" I mean their hidden underground so i'd say their the main event down here "

" you can't just come down here to see it whenever you see fit "

" but I was interested in the way it's mind works "

" what the hell am I an attraction at sea world? "

" your whatever the fuck I want you to be " your once strong eyes were met with brown ones that held your gaze almost testing you— daring you.

You seeing the hate swirl with annoyance meeting to radiate off of him. His face made up in a snarl as he finally turned his whole body to you.

Arms crossed across his chest eyes now lazily focused on you causing a chill to move through your spine. Youd never wanted to grow submissive to anyone and you never had not in all your years of living so why were you now?

Kiyokos eyes moving from between you to the male in front of her and back. Her body already telling you she knew something was off by the way you'd just been playful with her until you felt the energy shift by someone elses approach showing how easily your personality could changed.

Something was off and she was interested

" if necessary I can always stay and play mediato— "

" your ok " he smiled widely " we're fine together — down here "

your body shifted in the seat wrists being pulled back and down to the table by the chain in front of you when you heard his claim.

" y/n ' s good with that — their fine ive known them a long time I can speak for them — we’ve done this before countless times this isn't their first crime maybe one of this stature yes but "

" mhmm " the woman in front of you shook her head lightly before leaving the room your heart clenching tightly when you heard the door click closed

" I just wanna do my job and then i'll get out ok y/n " the fake sympathy in his voice shining through as he put down his clipboard on the table before standing behind the chair at the table across from you

" god " his voice was heavy as he spoke " it's like you get hotter and hotter everytime we see each other " his body moving around the small rectangular table " it's such a shame "

Your body tensing when you felt him nearing you only to keep going past you.

Body letting out a breath you didn't even know you were holding only to restore another one when you heard the click of the camera turning off and powering down.

Your eyes darting around the room to watch him out of the corner of them reaching up to turn off the corner camera that showed the police force what was happening in the room

Not that they would care seeing as though he was chief he could do anything he wanted to you and not have to tell anyone in his unit. It didn't help that you were a world renowned criminal now you'd fully fucked this up for yourself

" crazy how your fucked yourself over " his words only confirming the thought in your head " you were only into petty crimes before so I could barely get my hands on you i'd always have to pass you over to everyone else because no one of my status ever needed to intervene — though I would've loved to— just to feel the way your face would drop anytime I entered the room or to even feel the shift in your attitude like I felt earlier— holy fuck is that powerful and now look at you "

He laughed at your body that sat slumped in your chair trying to cover your face with the cuffs on the table " pathetically sitting in a room bawling your eyes out in front of me "

His words only feeling closer now as his breath hit your ear.

Heat from his mouth moving to your neck instantly causing you to scoot away only for him to grab the back of your neck " have you no respect for yourself "

You gritted your teeth together at his hold on you " I said have you no respect for yourself "

You bit at your lip trying to decide what to say you always wanted to spit a comeback at the male but right now was definitely not the time with his heavy hand on your neck moving slowly into your hair to grip tighter

"ah every single time we do this — it's almost even more pathetic than the droplets I keep seeing falling and landing on my perfect fucking table that I bought with company’s money— fuck their gonna cut my paycheck "

His hand tightening as he spoke again " one more time asshole " his voice held all the rudeness to it " have you no respect for yourself "

" y-"

The action was quick as he slammed your head hard into the table in front of you. your vision blurring before he sighed blood dripping from your forehead and leaking out of your nose onto your lips as it trembled slightly

" ugh I hate when this happens with you —- you always bleed so fucking easily " he huffed " I ask you something you answer learn something about respect for once in your life and maybe you'll take better care of yourself "

He scoffed " your so fucking pretty and yet you do things like this — you slut yourself out in my business and then turn around and get arrested god your such a fucking ditz "

your head being brought to meet the table once again as you whimpered tears mixing with your blood brain muddied and shut down by his actions

" i'm so tired — so so tired of sweeping everything you do under the rug— I mean you act like I can’t fucking see you y/n i run the whole fucking thing I don’t— I don’t understand you your just fucking stupid so so so stupid it just blinds me and throws me for a loop sometimes "

His voice was low almost as if he only wanted you to feel the weight of his words " and then you never even say fucking sorry " he pushed your head down again " i'm the fucking cleanup crew ,, the shitty bodyguard when you drag yourself in some mess ,, the contact list when you need a plug ,, the boss when you need a job i'm fucking tired y/n "

" I know I know and i'm— im so sorry really please i'm sorry "

you braced yourself for another push as he backed away the heavy hand leaving your neck as he peered down at your head that was still hovering over the table

" what the fuck do you want another bash ?What are you doing "

" no — no please no”

" then bring your head up — god you seriously take your role on as the youngest dont you " he sighed as he moved his hands to pinch at the bridge of his nose. Your eyes darting to the camera kiyoko left and feeling hope enter your body thinking of how she would see the whole scene that’s played out with the male in front of you

" your not staying here "

" what—what "

" you can't — I dont want you here— i’m outta this your not my responsibility anymore your 19 now so I don’t know what to say except get it to fucking gether — you stay here your never gonna go to jail you'd just stay in a confined room for moths — fuck i’m always getting dragged in this shit "

" how — what do I do — what am I gonna do "

" the hell do you mean ? what am I gonna do ? as if the shits not obvious your gonna do fucking nothing while everyone else does all the work for you again "

your voice grew quiet as he scoffed " that's what I thought god — one day i'm gonna get fired "

your eyes darted to the camera and back down " for what exactly "

his eyebrows creased as he stared at you eyes moving all around your face before he spoke ignoring your question " you got yourself in some real bad shit this time y/n "

" but it wasn't even my fau— "

" you don't say shit — you know it wasn't suppose to go down like that and when one goes down we go down together you swore it— that’s how you got our trust don’t fuck yourself over again or you’ll be down in hell by yourself "

" like what ? "

" don't fuck with me y/n "

he moved to grab his clipboard your body lifting when he walked off and forgot about the camera only to drop the clipboard to the floor with a loud clang and start using his shoe to tear the papers apart

" wh-what are you doing " your voice came out soft as your eyebrows creased

His body moving over to the table and throwing the camera youd just put all your hope into someone seeing what you went through being thrown to the ground and stepped on harshly with the heel of his shoes.

Though it wasn't broken broken it was unsalvageable and couldn't be fixed your eyes going wide unable to process anything before he walked to the door and opened it his hand coming up to cup around his mouth

" THEIR ATTACKING " he screamed your body trembling at the way the table shook along with it " calling all units anyone in the vicinity the inmate I am locked up with is having a tantrum of some kind and I do not think I can handle it alone "

Your heart broke as you watched the male in front of you turn back to look at you holding nothing but hate in his eyes " I ask that you help me remove the inmate and get them out of our station immediately "

Several people running in cleaning up the scene and taking pictures before someone uncuffed you and dragged you towards the tall male by the door.

" Chief where do you want em "

" I want em on the next bus to tokyo "

Your head swirling " wh— "

" everyone exit while I talk to the inmate quickly alerting them of their next adventure " everyone moving silently to follow his demands his eyes going directly to yours as everyone raced down the hallway and away from you two

" your going to tokyo — I can't fucking do this — "

" but what would I do there's no one "

" go see bokutou — at this point you've pissed me off I can't do much else for you just — go ask for a new life really " his voice came out in a short laugh at his ending words

" boku— "

" y/n I said i'm pissed off and done with you — you keep interfering with my job and honestly this murder charge was the last strike for me— your of age now I can’t get you outta this shit— so if you could just get a new identity and get the hell away from me id seriously appreciate it "

" daichi I "

" you don't say anything "

" your my — your my brother we’re suppose to be there for each other and you "

" i'm not your anything as of right now you prick " his voice was sharp and held meaning as he snapped at uou " not your brother — your friend — your back up call when you get into weird shit I — I wanted to be a nice police officer and move my way up to chief I wanted to have kids a — a family y/n " he scoffdd " not a shitty sibling who keeps using my job against me and has me pulling strings that shouldn't even exists "

" but "

" you see how I keep cutting you off it's because I don't want to hear you y/n — you annoy the fuck out of me so seriously " he moved his shoulder to glide through the doorframe and past you "just go do what you criminal assholes do and get a new identity and the fuck away from me as soon as possible I want nothing to do with you "

" sooooo thats how you ended up with me " the air in the new room shifted from confusing to happiness as the dual colored male in front of you screamed " THATS AWESOME YOU HAVE SUCH A BADASS BACK STORY "

He jumped up and covered his face dramatically before he spoke "twas a dark night when y/n changed their ways and gave birth to a criminal — a murdering criminal who came to the one and the only — bokuto koutaro the amazingily cool , strong , funny , king of connections — thus creating a beautiful friendship and a dark and powerful villian story "

He smiled at your beat and battered face youd received from your brother a day ago before he spoke again his hair drooping slightly " too much ? "

[mandalhoerian]

i think about leon a lot so click read more if you want to read me rambling about re4r and him

aside from the remakes being re-imaginings of the original games and of course having to be original in their own way, this wonderful post is precisely why i wasn't opposed to the eerie and serious atmosphere re4r was setting up with some semblance of promise for psychological/darker weight put into the story.

yeah sure, re4 was a revolutionary game that set the standard for what came after it, that's not even open to debate. leon's lighthearted self made more sense for a camp and goofy plot about sending one (1) man to rescue the PRESIDENT'S DAUGHTER from a whole cult in a village of spain. i'm an re4 leon enjoyer myself, i could see him turning to confidence and occasional humor on his missions as a coping mechanism. he CARRIES this game with that personality!! love the dumb blond meets action hero concept going for him!!!!!!!!

re4 has flaws though. the game aged like fine wine but not a lot of people want to admit that story-wise it's pretty much wonky and a lot of things are left superficial for the sake of action.

character development/exploration is one of these flaws.

there is a HUGE gap of six years since the audience last saw leon and since the game is aware they can't patch up a big hole such as that, they don't even try attempting to get into how leon evolved the way he did, even krauser comes out of nowhere with no context to his relation to leon. he's just there suddenly.

because this is an action game, there isn't much time for character exposition and cutscenes to spend on building moments between characters. and it's great decision making on the developers' part for leon's personality to be fresh for this game to work so they don't have to deal with character analysis. it shows even in the portrayal of villains, we only get bits and pieces about them from diaries and files we pick up along the way. other than that, they are just carbon cutouts.

at the end of the game, at least to me, there is the feeling of dissatisfaction about the characters because i know we could have gotten more. about luis, about krauser, about saddler, and even about ada -- separate ways just make her more confusing than ever in the name of not revealing much about her for future potential. the game could have explored them better. i know we're supposed to piece together the background of this mess from the notes but i was still left wanting to be shown more. for example i certainly felt the hand of the writers guiding the player through bitores mendez constantly talking about how there is a third party involved over and over again referring to ada.

later media (starting from damnation, i believe) begin leaning more into leon's psyche since they couldn't do that before (yes, the old alcoholism road, the classic) as years pass, character-driven stories became more popular, so it shows in resident evil's content too. game design also improved TREMENDOUSLY that gameplay now blends into cutscenes seamlessly, its a road that goes both ways -- which opened the door for flashbacks and more.

re4r going with the road not taken and featuring leon's trauma and the toll racoon city had on him makes perfect sense. it's character exploration time. most people didn't like they were leaning away from the campiness but what's the point of a remake if it's going to be identical to the source material and can't stand on its own? what's wrong with re4r wanting to take itself seriously?

also who knows, maybe leon's sense of humor is going to be changed to become more natural, he had the foundation of the awkward one liners in re2r, so...

speaking of re2r, it left leon off on a heroic note where he was just ready to take on the world, determined to bring down umbrella as it was like a final boss or something that he could physically throw hands with. we'll get to find out how many years has passed and how much we're deviating from the capcom canon, and if he willingly joined the government side of things for this cause or if he was even given a choice or not.

if he did choose this path himself, the exhausted self we see in the trailer is even more heartbreaking. it means he is likely to have faced disillusionment. but he's an honest guy who always fights for the sake of others so of course he soldiers on; even when he's haunted by racoon city, it's his main drive to not let anything like this happen again and the hope things can be different this time. in that sense, he hasn't lost all of his original self, leon's still a pure-hearted guy who wants to do the right thing -- bless his soul, he even talked about how he couldnt wait for fbi to raid umbrella and take them to justice with not even one thought spared to the harsh reality of them being government-funded in the first place.

it's bittersweet to think losing his youth against the fight against BOWs doesn't matter to him (yet), that's how good-natured he is. i'm probably reading too much into it but even in the trailer he just mentions raccoon city and not any other place or mission they sent him to as the one thing he mourns and has him fucked up, which just alludes to leon not minding what they string him along for and what he's being made to do -- and i wanna scream over how selfless he is like he doesnt have a life outside of doing government work over BOWs, he really doesnt, and he's such a lonely guy too. man doesnt have a single close friend by his side. claire has terrasave, chris and jill have each other and bsaa and leon just has alcohol to keep him close company. i dont know why but he is so removed from everyone and it makes my heart ache. leon really needs a hug. Some genuine affection. Im so emo over this man. Someone accept his dinner requests asap!!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡

Anyway thank you user sexyleon i absolutely hated thinking about how lonely leon is through all this and i wanna cry into my pillow

Just thinking about how young Leon looks in re4r and it really drives home how his youth has been stolen from him. He was coerced into working for the government after raccoon city, continuously forced to fight through hell after hell— his twenties are gone by the time he makes it to Spain but he is still so so young. It’s sad to think of how much was taken from him.